Last Monday I watched Desi Linden's incredible Boston Marathon win, less than 6 months after Shalane Flanagan's equally incredible New York City Marathon win. Both of these brought the end of decades-long droughts of wins by American women at these races. Both of these women gave us inspiring performances and results, but they gave us something even greater: they proved to us that success isn't guaranteed, and that not finding it the first time or the second time or the third time or the nth time doesn't mean it will never happen. Whereas my goals change from race to race as I continue to improve, these women show up to every race with the same goal: to win. The requirements for winning can't be known ahead of time and depend on a lot of factors - the weather, the course, the other competitors - but each time, they show up knowing that they are capable of achieving their goals, but that there is no way to know how race day will play out.
Shalane made her marathon debut at NYC in November 2010, finishing in second place, 20 seconds behind the winner. She didn't earn her first place finish until NYC 7 years later. Desi ran her first marathon in Boston in 2007 and came in 5th. In 2011 she missed out on first place at Boston by two seconds, and it took her a total of 6 tries before becoming a Boston Marathon champion last Monday. Although they have each had extraordinarily successful careers and and have had major achievements at other races and distances, in that context of their ultimate goal, each of these women spent years - more years than I have been running in total - trying and missing the mark. That's something been on my mind a lot lately during my runs. Running better and faster is fun and PRs are exciting, but they don't happen every day or every race and that's okay. This spring has taught me to appreciate every race and even every run as its own experience. I'm doing more of celebrating the things I can do and less getting hung up on the things I can't do (yet), or even the things I've been able to do in the past but can't do (right now).
Shalane made her marathon debut at NYC in November 2010, finishing in second place, 20 seconds behind the winner. She didn't earn her first place finish until NYC 7 years later. Desi ran her first marathon in Boston in 2007 and came in 5th. In 2011 she missed out on first place at Boston by two seconds, and it took her a total of 6 tries before becoming a Boston Marathon champion last Monday. Although they have each had extraordinarily successful careers and and have had major achievements at other races and distances, in that context of their ultimate goal, each of these women spent years - more years than I have been running in total - trying and missing the mark. That's something been on my mind a lot lately during my runs. Running better and faster is fun and PRs are exciting, but they don't happen every day or every race and that's okay. This spring has taught me to appreciate every race and even every run as its own experience. I'm doing more of celebrating the things I can do and less getting hung up on the things I can't do (yet), or even the things I've been able to do in the past but can't do (right now).
I understand that advancing forward is the literal definition of progress, and that in order to know if I'm making progress I need to have some understanding of where I started, but I'm not doing a lot of comparing these days. Or at least not drawing any conclusions from my comparisons. A couple weeks ago I had a workout that included some 200m, 400m, and 1000m repeats. Did I completely blow up during my 1000s? Yep. Have I run faster 1000s than I did that day? Sure have. Did I also run more sub-7 splits during the shorter intervals than I ever have before? Pretty sure I did. How does that translate to my overall running abilities? Not sure. Does the fact that I got in some faster short intervals mean I'll be able to run a faster half marathon this week? No idea. Does it matter? I'm not sure that it does. For the first time in a long time, my training isn't exclusively tied to my race goals, and that's a good feeling for me. For the first time in a long time - honestly, maybe since my early Couch 2 5k days - each run is its own challenge and comes with its own potential accomplishments. If this all leads me to the half marathon PR I want, that's great! If not, I've already PRed the 5k and come within 50 seconds of my half marathon PR which, even just a few months ago, felt like it might be completely unattainable to ever get close to again. And I've done a lot more running and a lot harder running in the last few months than I've ever done before, which has been invaluable to me - whether I have race results to show for it or not.Some days it just flows and I feel like I’m born to do this, other days it feels like I’m trudging through hell. Every day I make the choice to show up and see what I’ve got, and to try and be better.— des_linden (@des_linden) March 5, 2018
My advice: keep showing up.#MondayMotivaton #TogetherForward
My running and racing plans this spring have evolved more than they ever have over such a short period of time, and although I was reluctant at first to shift gears, finally giving in to that has arguably been one of the best things I have ever done for my running. In a few days I'll toe the line at my goal race, the one I've put the last 12 weeks of training into. I have no idea what race day will hold, but I feel more on track with my running - both mentally and physically - than I have in a long time. I feel ready to show up.
I've been thinking about my plans after this block of training is over and what I might like to do in the fall/winter, but trying not to think about it too hard because the truth is I just don't know what I'm going to feel like doing 6 months from now. But I think, if nothing else, I'm going to keep showing up, the way I have been the last few months, because that's my happy place right now. I'm not pushing myself toward any arbitrary goal or for a time I think I deserve just because I've run X:XX in the past, and that has been a freeing experience. I think I'm finally back on track and am just going to keep taking it one race, one run, one step at a time. Just showing up and seeing what I can do.
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